Friday, April 28, 2006

One of the small pleasures of going through old boxes of pictures

I found this story that mom and I wrote when we were in Cuba, bored one day while hanging out in the hospital....I will put Mom's sections in italics and mine in plainface so you can see where we switched off....we had lots of fun doing this, and it really cracked me up reading it again!!

Once upon a time, there was a person who went to Cuba to a hospital. Her name was Bonnie. One day, she met a nurse who took her and a daughter to a disco. They had a lot of fun at the disco until a freak wave came and washed the bandstand away just when Alyca started to run off after Bonnie, who was being romanced by a gorgeous Cuban man.
The Cuban's name was Thomas, who was here on a release from a prison in Venezuela. His crime had been only shaving his armpits in a restaurant. This is forbidden in his country, because of numerous hairs having been found in soups and salads. Thomas disliked the bushy hair, so he defied the law and removed the massive tufts of black hair from under his rippling, muscled armpits.
So on the day of his realease, he found a one way ticket to Cuba. Thomas was really into that communism thing. But when the huge wave washed him and Bonnie out to sea with only a barstool to cling to, he held onto Bonnie, praying that she had her Gerber knife to tighten the screws on the barstool. Being forever industrious, Bonnie did indeed have her Gerber knife, so she removed the screws and reassembled the stool into a self inflating loungechair-complete with a can holder to hold her forever needed Dr. Pepper. Several cans of this precious liquid had washed out along with the barstool. Of course, Bonnie's addiction did not allow for her to share her Dr. Pepper, so Thomas, dehydrated after days at sea said his farewell to Bonnie and clung hopelessly to the empty cans of Dr. Pepper of which Bonnie generously offered to him. He managed to float for a few hours, but eventually sunk to the ocean floor, where he was eaten by stranded scuba divers.
Bonnie remained on her lounge chair, floating towards Alaska, of which she wanted to say hello to her friend Joyce. But when she finally arrived in Alaska, Joyce was not home. Bonnie, cold as usual, used her Gerber knife to chop up several sharks for blankets and earmuffs. She attracted the sharks by dangling little bits of Thomas over the side of the louhgechair.
As time went by, Bonnie drifted over to Hawaii to spend a few days on the sandy beaches She met up with her old friend, Irene. They decided to go out and dance up a storm at the PCC (Polynesian Cultural Center) While at the PCC, Binnie suddenly remembered her beloved daughter, Alyca, who had been with her at the disco in Cuba. She decided to put a note in a bottle and float it out to sea, to find out if Alyca had drowned or not.
Fortunately Alyca had received her bottle and was in the process of sending a message via carrier pigeon to let everyone know she was okay. She really appreciated her mothers thoughtfulness in wondering whether or not she was alive during her trip around the world in a loungechair. Alyca was floating around the Caribbean on a nest of coconuts. She was really comfortable as she was not alone. She had Thomas's mangled body parts with her. The way they moved as the coconuts bobbed up and down made the mangled parts look almost lifelike, except for the bug chunks of flesh missing.
Looking closely at a piece of driftwood she had found witht he body parts, Alyca was shocked to see that Thomas had written some words on it with a piece of a Dr. Pepper can. The words read: If Bonnie Cooper ever reads this tell her I love her anyway, even if she prefers Dr Pepper over me.
Alyca decided that this cryptic message meant that her mother had killed Thomas rather than give up her Dr Pepper obsession. She decided that she must stop her mother's addiction before it killed another innocent person. So Alyca paddled over to Hawaii, where she found Bonnie sipping a Dr. Pepper while visiting with her friend Irene. Alyca immediately contacted the local authorities, and had Bonnie committed to a detoxification institution. Alyca felt that this was the only way she could help Bonnie kick the habit.
Bonnie resisted going by using her Gerber knife to remove the screws in the ambulance on which she was to arrive there, taking the door off its hinges and leaping from the moving vehicle onto soft sand at a nearby beach. Using her Gerber knife again, she built a luxury jet out of coconut shells, using techniques she had learned from McGyver on TV. She then flew to Crane, Oregon and landed ona hastily built runway Jobie and Sabrina had made when Bonnie radioed them from her jet that she was coming. Jobie and Sabrina, of course, complained the entier time they were making the runway.


Mama-Beans said...

You two are retarded.

grandmabon said...

Absolutely hilarius!!

alyca said...

Sabrina, you are just mad because you were stuck arguing with Jobie whilst building a runway

Mama-Beans said...

I didn't say inaccurate.....

Davinie said...

Alas..... Davinie appears to be nowhere in sight.

Mama-Beans said...

Lucky Davinie! I got stuck building a runway...